Unprotected Sex

I think I learned about sex and 'safe sex' in the same breath. No sooner had the concept of sexual intercourse taken root in my young mind than people in my life were begging me not to have it and if I did, God forbid, to do it safely. As a result I started having sex at sage 15 and started having safe sex about a year later. Teenagers are idiots.

Anyway, since then, I've only had safe sex. For most of my adult life I had double safe sex, using both oral contraceptives and condoms. For the last year since I went off birth control to get ready for when we'd trying to make a baby, we've used condoms consistently. But now, well, the glove is off.

Last week I went and saw my family doctor. He asked why I was there and I told him I wanted his blessing to start trying to conceive. I explained that after years of being told to have safe sex, I felt that I needed the blessing of some sort of authority figure before I could stop having safe sex. He laughed appreciatively and gave us his blessing.

Last night I had unprotected sex. Even though I know it's pretty unlikely that I'm fertile right now (I'm probably not ovulating for another 10 days), since we're officially trying there was no need for condoms regardless of how fertile I am. So we went at it bareback. It was hot.

When it was over, my husband sweetly told me that he hoped we'd made a baby. I hope so too.

And I laid there in bed and felt, well, kinda gross. After so many years of using condoms it felt foreign and all squishy and wet. And not in a good way. It will certainly take some getting used to. Luckily, I'll get plenty of practice.

It Starts

This month starts the more official part of my journey to parenthood. It's weird to be officially "trying" to get pregnant.

I went off my birth control pills about a year ago when my husband & I thought we might start trying in summer of 2010. That didn't happen but I never went back on the pill, mostly because I had been somewhat irregular after coming off of it. Before being on the pill for 5 years, I never had a late or missed period in my life. You could set your watch by my 28 day cycle. After being off the pill for a year, my cycle has settled into a mostly predictable 27 days, which I was frustrated by at first, but eventually came to accept.

Of course, this month, when I'm paying particularly close attention, my period jumped the gun. Mother Nature evidently does not take kindly to my assumption that I'm in control of my own fertility. I just hope this isn't an indication of things to come.

I've always wanted kids, and always been into baby stuff thanks to a large population of babies in my life. As such, I've also subscribed to the general attitude that you can't rush things. I have worried that talking too much about our baby making plans, reading too much, or just thinking too much about it. I know that it doesn't really have an effect, but I still try to stay quiet.

That being said, I'm hoping to capture some of my thoughts and feelings here while we're still early in the process, knowing that later I might not want to or might not have time to.

I'm still a good week away from ovulating, and I have an ovulation stick test under the bathroom sink just waiting, if nothing else, to banish a certain set of fertility fears.

In the mean time I'm trying to eat healthy, get enough exercise, and keep my weight and stress levels down. I've lost about 5 pounds in about 4 months, which isn't much, but it is evidence that I'm able to make an impact on my body if I'm thoughtful. It's also evidence that I'm not able to make a big impact on my body without making major diet overhauls. Sorry if that was a little non-sequitur, but it's something that weighs on my mind and I think it's a good idea to put it down on "paper".

I'm looking into another pregnancy/baby/parenting book to read and thinking about digging into something on vaccinations. If you read this and have a recommendation, I'd love to see it.

In the mean time, I'm not sharing this blog with anyone who knows me in the real world because I want to be able to post in real time, but I really don't need friends and family knowing the inner workings of my lady parts.