My super sketchy OB

So, I've talked a little about my desire to find a better pregnancy health care provider, but I want to do a detailed recap of what I've experienced so far, because this seems nutty to me.

I found my doctor through my health insurance's "find a doctor" link. I did a bunch of research about which local hospital I wanted to deliver at long before I was pregnant and determined that Providence Tarzana was my first choice due to their breastfeed rate, c-section rate, and proximity to our home. Great. My new insurance offers me exactly 2 doctors from this hospital. I googled them both and decided on my current OB based on a section of his website where he basically says "if you want a natural birth, do it at home". At the time, I'd hoped that I could change my husband's mind about home birth, and I wanted a doc who'd be supportive of it if I decided to go with home birth.

I called a day after my positive pregnancy test result. The receptionist took down my info and then declared that I couldn't know I was pregnant yet because I hadn't yet missed my period. I explained that my period had been due that morning (I have somewhat short cycles) but that I'd had a positive test. I had? She didn't seem to believe me. Yes, two in fact. Ok, she said, and so I was shocked when she offered me an appointment that Friday, at only 4 weeks (which really, is just 2 weeks, but whatever). I declined the Friday appointment and went in the following Wednesday.

The appointment turned out to basically be a pap smear and a prescription for a blood test. After the pap, the doctor gave me a stern talking to because I hadn't had a pap in 2 years. I explained, "my previous OB said it was ok since I've never had an abnormal pap." Yes, but that was no excuse not to have a check-up, he said. Uh, well, I had a check-up a year ago, just not the pap. So the doc explained that I should have a pap every year and that it's the insurance companies who simply don't want to pay for my care who are saying that I don't need the pap. This sounded like decent info, so I went along. Ok.

Then we had an odd go round of questions about me and my husband. He wanted to know my husband's occupation. I explained that he's self employee in office work. "Ok, but what does he do?" doc asked. Uh, he works in ticketing and in interior design. "Yes, but what is his occupation? What is his degree in?" the doc pressed while I looked on, puzzled. Uh, he was a poli sci major, but he's just self employed. He works at a computer all day. What the fuck does it matter dude?

And that was the end of my appointment. Come back in 3 weeks and we'll do an ultrasound. I was a little thrown since we hadn't actually talked about my pregnancy at all. What should I do now? What do I expect next? His answer was start eating healthy and come to my next appointment. Ok, and on his way out the door I called out to ask "Um, what should I be looking for if something's wrong? When do I call you and what's normal?" He basically said, call us if you have bleeding or serious pain. He'd see us in a few week and everything would be fine.

I was a little thrown, to be honest. It wasn't at all what I had been expecting. I thought there would be a lot more fanfare. I thought that we'd talk more about...well, more. He didn't even tell me what the prenatal appointment schedule is. He didn't even tell me my due date!

But I figured, whatever, maybe it's just that he likes to cover that stuff after the first ultrasound, so I made my next appointment and went to work.

A week later I get a letter in the mail from the medical group my primary care doc (oh the joys of HMOs) belongs to telling me that the ultrasound request was denied. Bummer. But by this point I knew that it wasn't a truly necessary procedure so I wasn't totally surprised. So, I called up the doctor's office and explained to the receptionist that I had gotten this note in the mail and I asked if I still needed to come to this appointment. She seemed put out at my question and said "Are you planning to continue with us?" Uh, yes. "Then why wouldn't you come to your appointment?" Inflection is difficult to deliver by blog, but hers sucked. I explained that I didn't know if this appointment was just for the ultrasound or what. "Well, of course it's not just for the ultrasound. It's your regular appointment." I was pretty unhappy with the attitude at this point, so I did something that I rarely do with strangers on the phone - I raised my voice and proclaimed "Well, I didn't know that! No one told me the schedule, so how would even know that?" I must have caught her off guard with my hysterics because she explained that yes, this is a regular appointment and that they would keep arguing with my medical group in the hope that I'd be able to have the ultrasound after all. Cool.

By this time I was already looking into midwives and considering other OBs. But when the midwife thing didn't work out, I resigned myself to going to my 8 week appointment, taking my long list of questions, and really evaluating this doc. Until today...

Today I got a call from OB doc's office and the call went like this:

Receptionist: Alyson, this is the receptionist at Doc's office. How attached are you to your primary care doctor?"

Alyson: Uh, I don't know. Why?

Receptionist: Well, the medical group he belongs to has repeatedly denied our requests for the ultrasound. We work with another medical group and if you switch to them we can give you better care because they approve our requests like this one.

Alyson: Wow, ok. Well, I do really like my regular doc

Reception: (enter previously mentioned bad attitude) Well, that's why I asked you that.

Alyson: (enter prevoiusly mentioned raised voice) I know, but it's reasonable to ask why when someone asks you a question like that. I think I'll call my doctor and talk to him about this.

Receptionist: Your doctor can't help you with this. He doesn't make these decisions.

Alyson: Uh, ok, that doesn't make a lot of sense to me, but I do want to talk to him before I make a decision like this.

Eventually she warmed up and said, go ahead and call your doc, we'll see you next Monday. Anyway, is it just me or is this CRAZY? I get the sense that doc here prescribes this ultrasound for everyone regardless, and while I wouldn't mind seeing my baby I'm well informed enough to know that it's not strictly neccesary. This makes me wonder what other tests he might prescribe unnecessarily and that worries me because extra tests could mean extra worries and stress for me. I'm not sure that's the approach I want to take. Plus, doesn't it seem a little unethical to call up a patient and make an unsolicited suggestion that she change primary care physicians?

Needless to say, there's NO WAY I can go back to this doctor again. It just feels to sketchy.